Police in Kelso, Washington, said a man used his compound bow to interrupt an apparent break-in at a nearby vacant home, wounding a fleeing man in the rear. The man grabbed his hunting bow late Sunday night and chased a suspected prowler for more than three blocks. When the fleeing man refused to stop, the bowhunter shot him with an arrow. A 32-year-old man later sought treatment at a hospital for an arrow wound to the left buttock. Doctors removed the arrow tip. It’s like a real life Robin Hood!
Authorities in the Philippines have evacuated 20,000 people in the path of a dangerous volcano. To put the numbers in perspective, that’s almost half of as many people as have said they’ve dated Tiger Woods…
Courtney Love has lost custody of her 17-year-old teenage daughter. Seventeen! You only had one more year to go. How do you lose custody with only a year to go? That’s like being fired at age 64.
The Supreme Court says it will decide how much privacy people have when they send text messages. When asked for a comment, Tiger Woods said “Oh, sure… NOW you worry about that…”
Speaking of Tiger, many experts believe that we are starting to hear from the last few mistresses to come forward. Or as they are being called, the back nine.
Attention parents…! A new survey of children around the world shows the top gift request to Santa is video games while the second choice is Legos. Pets, like puppies and rabbits, was third, followed by Pokemon-related stuff, Star Wars items, Littlest Pet Shop toys, cellphones, battery-operated remote control vehicles, toy cars and racetracks and, in 10th place, computers.
Finally, some hope for America. Al Gore's ranting about saving the planet from global warming appears to be falling on increasingly deaf ears. In a new survey, nearly half of Americans say they are only slightly or not at all concerned about climate change. Bring on the polar bear jerky!
How many times can you hear "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" or Madonna trying -- but not even coming close-- to best Eartha Kitt with "Santa Baby" before you just scream? The Washington Post has called these two songs, along with Barbra Streisand's "Jingle Bells" and the Jackson 5's "Santa Claus Is Coming to Town" the "sonic equivalent of a chorus of screeching cats." They are among the most hated Christmas songs of all time -- but they aren't the most hated. The honor of the most hated Christmas song of all time goes to "Jingle Bells," as "performed" by the Singing Dogs, a 1955 Danish record that was reedited and released in 1970.
According to Edison Media Research and Pinnacle Media Worldwide, the three songs we love the most are:
1. Bing Crosby's "White Christmas" (1942)
2. Nat King Cole's "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)" (1946)
3. Burl Ives's "A Holly Jolly Christmas" (1965)
Also high on the list of songs we adore this time of year are:
• "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree" (Brenda Lee, 1958)
• "Jingle Bell Rock" (Bobby Helms, 1957)
• "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" (John Lennon and Yoko Ono, 1971)
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
12.15.09 Tuesday "Meth use is down, BUT..."
Question: When faced with criticism, how do the most successful people deal with it?
Answer: Rather than ignore it, brush it off, or get mad… the most successful people LISTEN to it.
Some big news this holiday season is coming out of Wazzoo! A Washington State University scientist and Christmas tree expert says he is close to genetically creating a breed of tree that doesn't shed its needles. Gary Chastagner said he hopes the needle-retaining fir trees will be available for holiday purchase within the next few years. Of course, his research is being criticized by vacuum cleaner lobbyists, but still….
Good news and bad news… A new study says that among teenagers, methamphetamine use is down. That’s great! But the bad news is that pot use is up. As is enrollment at Evergreen…
The Coast Guard has rescued a cruise ship crew member who jumped overboard. How bad does the karaoke by Hawaiian shirted tourists have to be before somebody jumps overboard?!
New research shows that people who have youthful faces are more likely to live to an old age than those who look more than their years. That's the good news. The bad news is this means we'll have to put up with Leonardo DiCaprio movies until he's 120.
The operators of the world's largest atom smasher say the machine produced 50,000 proton collisions at the highest energy level ever recorded. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but all of a sudden it's clear to me what I want for Christmas.
Don Johnson of "Miami Vice" fame turns 60 today. Oh, he's still seen driving around Miami...only now, with his blinker always on.
Answer: Rather than ignore it, brush it off, or get mad… the most successful people LISTEN to it.
Some big news this holiday season is coming out of Wazzoo! A Washington State University scientist and Christmas tree expert says he is close to genetically creating a breed of tree that doesn't shed its needles. Gary Chastagner said he hopes the needle-retaining fir trees will be available for holiday purchase within the next few years. Of course, his research is being criticized by vacuum cleaner lobbyists, but still….
Good news and bad news… A new study says that among teenagers, methamphetamine use is down. That’s great! But the bad news is that pot use is up. As is enrollment at Evergreen…
The Coast Guard has rescued a cruise ship crew member who jumped overboard. How bad does the karaoke by Hawaiian shirted tourists have to be before somebody jumps overboard?!
New research shows that people who have youthful faces are more likely to live to an old age than those who look more than their years. That's the good news. The bad news is this means we'll have to put up with Leonardo DiCaprio movies until he's 120.
The operators of the world's largest atom smasher say the machine produced 50,000 proton collisions at the highest energy level ever recorded. I have absolutely no idea what that means, but all of a sudden it's clear to me what I want for Christmas.
Don Johnson of "Miami Vice" fame turns 60 today. Oh, he's still seen driving around Miami...only now, with his blinker always on.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
12.10.09 "Giddyup... to the bar..."
I find this kind of surprising, yet cool at the same time. A recent survey says that women feel sexiest when they're 34 years old. My guess would have been like 21 when they’re out partying with their tramp stamps showing in their low-rise jeans, but actually it’s when they start to slide into the “mommy years.” I think that around 34 is when women start to really become who they are going to be the rest of their lives and start to really rely on inner strength rather than external stuff… And confidence is just dang sexy!
In Pakistan, during the wee hours of the morning, the Taliban blew up two boys’ schools. Way to think that one trough Taliban. Because you know how much boys hate waking up to find out they don’t have to go to school…
Too Much Eggnog Story of the Day: A woman has been charged with public intoxication after police said she passed out on a horse she rode in the Shelbyville, Tennessee, Christmas parade. The 46-year-old woman was found slumped over on her horse outside a motel. Officers said they had to catch her twice to keep her from falling.
Bruce Springsteen has come out in favor of gay marriage in his home state of New Jersey. Which explains his new big hit “Born To Run… Like a Girl.”
In Pakistan, during the wee hours of the morning, the Taliban blew up two boys’ schools. Way to think that one trough Taliban. Because you know how much boys hate waking up to find out they don’t have to go to school…
Too Much Eggnog Story of the Day: A woman has been charged with public intoxication after police said she passed out on a horse she rode in the Shelbyville, Tennessee, Christmas parade. The 46-year-old woman was found slumped over on her horse outside a motel. Officers said they had to catch her twice to keep her from falling.
Bruce Springsteen has come out in favor of gay marriage in his home state of New Jersey. Which explains his new big hit “Born To Run… Like a Girl.”
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
12.09.09 "Cow Licking Causes Damage"
The Miranda Rights police officers must recite to people as they're being arrested may be re-written. Experts say its to better represent the realities of the legal system. For instance, one of the lines goes "You have a right to remain silent and while incarcerated, should you go to jail, to cable television, and free medical care, and an education, and probably a movie based on your life when you are eventually freed on a technicality.”
More than 200 people were arrested during marches by tens of thousands at universities across Iran. It highlights the difference between students in Iran and the U.S. -- students in Iran get arrested for trying to protect their rights while students in the U.S. get arrested for being passed out on the fraternity lawn.
Tiger Wood’s visiting mother-in-law came down with stomach pains and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I guess Tiger offered to drive her there himself, but….
In Rogersville, Tennessee, Jerry Lynn Davis called police to complain that his neighbor's cows had been licking his house and caused about $100 in damage by ripping off a screen window, cracking the glass and pulling down a gutter. Jerry's home is just a couple of feet from a fence enclosing the cows' pasture and the curious bovines managed to poke their heads through to lick the house. And just so you know, your policy may vary, but according to Jerry’s homeowners insurance policy does not cover “act of cow.”
Apparently some people just really have nothing better to do. The other day, the American Medical Association released a study showing Santa’s body mass index to be "dangerously high"’ at 30 percent, which makes him obese, which puts him at high risk for a heart attack, which means he should not be flying at high altitudes. Hey American Medical Association… I thing somebody’s getting a lump of coal this year…
Misc. Christmas Facts:
69.4% say they would rather give than receive.
70.9% like it when employees wish them a "Merry Christmas" while shopping
92.6% feel malls, stores and parks should be allowed to display the Christian Nativity Scene during the Christmas season.
82.4% say gift cards are a smart gift alternative for people they don't know well
10.5% have "re-gifted" gift cards received, while 22.5% have "re-gifted" gifts received
22.7% like to exchange gifts for things they would rather have
13.5% have received gift cards that they've never redeemed
More than 200 people were arrested during marches by tens of thousands at universities across Iran. It highlights the difference between students in Iran and the U.S. -- students in Iran get arrested for trying to protect their rights while students in the U.S. get arrested for being passed out on the fraternity lawn.
Tiger Wood’s visiting mother-in-law came down with stomach pains and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. I guess Tiger offered to drive her there himself, but….
In Rogersville, Tennessee, Jerry Lynn Davis called police to complain that his neighbor's cows had been licking his house and caused about $100 in damage by ripping off a screen window, cracking the glass and pulling down a gutter. Jerry's home is just a couple of feet from a fence enclosing the cows' pasture and the curious bovines managed to poke their heads through to lick the house. And just so you know, your policy may vary, but according to Jerry’s homeowners insurance policy does not cover “act of cow.”
Apparently some people just really have nothing better to do. The other day, the American Medical Association released a study showing Santa’s body mass index to be "dangerously high"’ at 30 percent, which makes him obese, which puts him at high risk for a heart attack, which means he should not be flying at high altitudes. Hey American Medical Association… I thing somebody’s getting a lump of coal this year…
Misc. Christmas Facts:
69.4% say they would rather give than receive.
70.9% like it when employees wish them a "Merry Christmas" while shopping
92.6% feel malls, stores and parks should be allowed to display the Christian Nativity Scene during the Christmas season.
82.4% say gift cards are a smart gift alternative for people they don't know well
10.5% have "re-gifted" gift cards received, while 22.5% have "re-gifted" gifts received
22.7% like to exchange gifts for things they would rather have
13.5% have received gift cards that they've never redeemed
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
12.08.09 Tues. "Our favorite Christmas Songs"
A new study says parents wait too late to have a sex talk with their kids. How do you know you waited too long to have the birds and bees talk? When as a dad you say, "Son, I want to talk to you about sex." And the your replies, "Sure dad, what do you want to know?"
This is absolutely gruesome… yet kinda cool. A crematorium in South East England is planning to use energy from burning bodies to run its own electricity and heating. It would be the first in Europe to invest in technology which converts excess heat from cremations into reusable energy. If this catches on, experts agree it could be great for the environment saving lots of fossil fuels. In fact, I would like to be the first to volunteer Al Gore to help out…
New word of the day: • Palintologist -- A person who studies or is fascinated by former Alaska governor Sarah Palin.
The number one favorite holiday song is "O Holy Night." That's the word from a Zogby International poll, which gave a list of nine holiday songs to 2,330 adults and asked them to choose their top three. Top holiday songs:
1. "O Holy Night," 58%
2. "White Christmas," 41%
3. "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)," 38%
4. "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas," 28%
5. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," 24%
6. "Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Eve/Sarajevo" 12/24: 17%
7. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," 15%
8. "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," 10%
9. "The Hanukkah Song" by Adam Sandler, 9%
When it comes to partisan choices, 67% of Republicans chose "O Holy Night" as their favorite holiday song, compared with 50% of Democrats and 56% of independents.
76% of adults who attend religious services more than once a week said "O Holy Night" is among their top three holiday songs, but only 25% of those who said they never attend religious services included the song as one of their favorites.
According to a recent poll, almost one in three people hold a "weapon" in their home to use against intruders. So, if someone broke into your house in the middle of the night what would you clock them with?
TOP FIVE SIGNS THOSE CAROLERS OUTSIDE HAVE HAD TOO MUCH EGGNOG
1. Santa just asked one of them, "With your eyes so red and bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
2. They're singing "Oh Lil Town of Hethbleham"
3. Instead of flashlights, one has a wick burning in his mouth
4. They knocking on your mailbox and yelling, "We know you're in there"
5. One just peed "Merry Christmas" in the snow
This is absolutely gruesome… yet kinda cool. A crematorium in South East England is planning to use energy from burning bodies to run its own electricity and heating. It would be the first in Europe to invest in technology which converts excess heat from cremations into reusable energy. If this catches on, experts agree it could be great for the environment saving lots of fossil fuels. In fact, I would like to be the first to volunteer Al Gore to help out…
New word of the day: • Palintologist -- A person who studies or is fascinated by former Alaska governor Sarah Palin.
The number one favorite holiday song is "O Holy Night." That's the word from a Zogby International poll, which gave a list of nine holiday songs to 2,330 adults and asked them to choose their top three. Top holiday songs:
1. "O Holy Night," 58%
2. "White Christmas," 41%
3. "The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)," 38%
4. "It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas," 28%
5. "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year," 24%
6. "Trans-Siberian Orchestra's Christmas Eve/Sarajevo" 12/24: 17%
7. "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," 15%
8. "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer," 10%
9. "The Hanukkah Song" by Adam Sandler, 9%
When it comes to partisan choices, 67% of Republicans chose "O Holy Night" as their favorite holiday song, compared with 50% of Democrats and 56% of independents.
76% of adults who attend religious services more than once a week said "O Holy Night" is among their top three holiday songs, but only 25% of those who said they never attend religious services included the song as one of their favorites.
According to a recent poll, almost one in three people hold a "weapon" in their home to use against intruders. So, if someone broke into your house in the middle of the night what would you clock them with?
TOP FIVE SIGNS THOSE CAROLERS OUTSIDE HAVE HAD TOO MUCH EGGNOG
1. Santa just asked one of them, "With your eyes so red and bright, won't you guide my sleigh tonight?"
2. They're singing "Oh Lil Town of Hethbleham"
3. Instead of flashlights, one has a wick burning in his mouth
4. They knocking on your mailbox and yelling, "We know you're in there"
5. One just peed "Merry Christmas" in the snow
Monday, December 7, 2009
12.07.09 Mon. "Pass the Marsh-Worts please..."
Snow Train was Saturday to Leavenworth. We played Christmas Trivia most of the way there. My two favorite questions were “this traditional holiday food is called ‘marsh-worts’ in Europe. What do we call it here?” and “In the holiday classic song ‘Jingle Bells,’ what is the name of the horse?” (Answers to both at the end)
When I got there I tried and Elk Burger for the first time. It was pretty good. Although it was one of those meats that in the dark I would have a hard time telling the difference between it and a regular hamburger. But I must say eating an Elk Burger did make me feel like a mountain man or something.
While people were standing in really long lines to buy silly hats and nutcrackers, I spent quite a bit of time hanging out in the Leavenworth Tattoo Haus owned by a dude named Doc. Doc, who is also a firefighter in Leavenworth, runs the shop with his wife. Cool guy. Plus, how often can you get a tattoo from a guy wearing lederhosen?
Yesterday we found out that Tessie will be ringing bells in the upcoming church Christmas pageant. (Gotta charge some extra batteries for the camcorder!) So of course she needed a pretty new Christmas dress. (Not to mention that she’ll need it to go see Daddy dance in the Pacific Northwest Ballet’s Nutcracker Monday December 21st!) It’s a pretty red dress with some sparkly silver shoes that look like little disco balls on her feet.
Brad Niesluchowski was a teacher at the Higley Unified School District in Mesa, Arizona. The school district fired him because they say that the software he downloaded onto school computers cost them about a million bucks. It was a program available from SETI, the people who are scanning the cosmos for proof of intelligent life. The software that uses the computer you download it onto connects to the internet and analyzes data from all over the world in a huge internet network. But the school district says that it bogged down their computers and it’s gonna cost them about a million bucks to fix all the problems the software caused. So now he’ll have all the time in the world to do some searching. Of course now it’s not intelligent life he’s looking for, but a job.
More news from Iran proving they aren’t the brightest bulb lighting the world stage. Iran’s state television has decided to ban makeup for women in all broadcasts. They say that a woman on TV wearing makeup “insults family elders.” All of the women who insisted on defying the order have all been taken off the air and say they will purse journalism in Iran in other mediums in order to thumb their powdered noses at the government. Who would have thought that the two most important tools in bringing democracy to Iran would be Twitter and Maybelline…?
Speaking of that area of the Middle East, Iranian authorities slowed Internet connections before today's expected student protests. You thought dial-up was bad, try surfing the web on dictator-speed.
The latest government report shows that employment numbers are on the rise. But that’s mostly from hiring additional writers and photographers to cover the Tiger Woods story.
Answers: Marsh-Worts are Cranberries. And the horse is “Bob.” (“bells on bob’s tail ring….”)
When I got there I tried and Elk Burger for the first time. It was pretty good. Although it was one of those meats that in the dark I would have a hard time telling the difference between it and a regular hamburger. But I must say eating an Elk Burger did make me feel like a mountain man or something.
While people were standing in really long lines to buy silly hats and nutcrackers, I spent quite a bit of time hanging out in the Leavenworth Tattoo Haus owned by a dude named Doc. Doc, who is also a firefighter in Leavenworth, runs the shop with his wife. Cool guy. Plus, how often can you get a tattoo from a guy wearing lederhosen?
Yesterday we found out that Tessie will be ringing bells in the upcoming church Christmas pageant. (Gotta charge some extra batteries for the camcorder!) So of course she needed a pretty new Christmas dress. (Not to mention that she’ll need it to go see Daddy dance in the Pacific Northwest Ballet’s Nutcracker Monday December 21st!) It’s a pretty red dress with some sparkly silver shoes that look like little disco balls on her feet.
Brad Niesluchowski was a teacher at the Higley Unified School District in Mesa, Arizona. The school district fired him because they say that the software he downloaded onto school computers cost them about a million bucks. It was a program available from SETI, the people who are scanning the cosmos for proof of intelligent life. The software that uses the computer you download it onto connects to the internet and analyzes data from all over the world in a huge internet network. But the school district says that it bogged down their computers and it’s gonna cost them about a million bucks to fix all the problems the software caused. So now he’ll have all the time in the world to do some searching. Of course now it’s not intelligent life he’s looking for, but a job.
More news from Iran proving they aren’t the brightest bulb lighting the world stage. Iran’s state television has decided to ban makeup for women in all broadcasts. They say that a woman on TV wearing makeup “insults family elders.” All of the women who insisted on defying the order have all been taken off the air and say they will purse journalism in Iran in other mediums in order to thumb their powdered noses at the government. Who would have thought that the two most important tools in bringing democracy to Iran would be Twitter and Maybelline…?
Speaking of that area of the Middle East, Iranian authorities slowed Internet connections before today's expected student protests. You thought dial-up was bad, try surfing the web on dictator-speed.
The latest government report shows that employment numbers are on the rise. But that’s mostly from hiring additional writers and photographers to cover the Tiger Woods story.
Answers: Marsh-Worts are Cranberries. And the horse is “Bob.” (“bells on bob’s tail ring….”)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
12.03.09 Thurs. "Pardon my rant, but...."
I always seem to form my opinions about a day late. But you know what bothered me about Obama giving his latest address in front of a bunch of servicemen and women at West Point? Here we have the finest fighting machine the word has ever known. The all volunteer military is filled with brave men and women that we should be proud of every singe day we breathe. But here, this man, who has essentially been running on a platform of “cut and run as soon as possible” is standing in front of people who are willing to lay their lives on the line for our freedom, and he has the audacity to basically say “we’re fighting a war we can’t even win and should never have been in.” That would be like Coach Sark standing in front of his players and saying “well, get out there and play hard. I mean, I don’t think you’ll win and we probably shouldn’t even be playing in this game, but hey, I’m proud of you…” Come on Obama…. Grow a pair.
Oh, and his stupid speech bumped the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Obama, you blockhead!
A Palm Beach County, Florida, teacher is in trouble for sending emails at work criticizing Barack Obama during the 2008 campaign. Paula Prudente faces a 10-day suspension without pay on a charge of gross insubordination. The School Board was to vote Wednesday on the punishment. Administrators accuse Prudente of repeatedly using her school district computer last year "to send unwelcome emails of an inappropriate political nature to her co-workers." The school's principal said that Prudente had been repeatedly warned to stop the emails. Teachers had complained about receiving them. (By the way, is there a question in anybody’s mind that if the emails were about George Bush that she would have gotten a raise?)
A new study says that despite the redesign years ago of soda can openers, a disturbing number of kids, especially teenagers, are still accidentally swallowing them. Oh yeah, the future’s in real good hands.
A rare pink diamond was auctioned off for a record $10.8 mil in Hong Kong. Boy, Tiger Woods moved fast on getting an apology gift.
Sarah Palin's memoir "Going Rogue" has officially sold a million copies. But keep in mind that Sarah Palin bought 750,000 of them for friends and family using taxpayer money.
Joe Klein of Time magazine told Chris Matthews Sunday that training of the Afghanistan troops and security forces isn't going very well. Apparently, these guys are harder to coach than the Seahawks….
Oh, and his stupid speech bumped the Charlie Brown Christmas Special. Obama, you blockhead!
A Palm Beach County, Florida, teacher is in trouble for sending emails at work criticizing Barack Obama during the 2008 campaign. Paula Prudente faces a 10-day suspension without pay on a charge of gross insubordination. The School Board was to vote Wednesday on the punishment. Administrators accuse Prudente of repeatedly using her school district computer last year "to send unwelcome emails of an inappropriate political nature to her co-workers." The school's principal said that Prudente had been repeatedly warned to stop the emails. Teachers had complained about receiving them. (By the way, is there a question in anybody’s mind that if the emails were about George Bush that she would have gotten a raise?)
A new study says that despite the redesign years ago of soda can openers, a disturbing number of kids, especially teenagers, are still accidentally swallowing them. Oh yeah, the future’s in real good hands.
A rare pink diamond was auctioned off for a record $10.8 mil in Hong Kong. Boy, Tiger Woods moved fast on getting an apology gift.
Sarah Palin's memoir "Going Rogue" has officially sold a million copies. But keep in mind that Sarah Palin bought 750,000 of them for friends and family using taxpayer money.
Joe Klein of Time magazine told Chris Matthews Sunday that training of the Afghanistan troops and security forces isn't going very well. Apparently, these guys are harder to coach than the Seahawks….
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