09.21.09 "How to stop suicides"

Good morning to Officer Wojahowitz from the Arlington Police Department. She was backstage security for Trent Tomlinson Friday night. First of all, and I know I’m going to get in trouble with somebody for saying this, but she is way too hot to be a cop. That is a compliment. But anyway… She listens every morning to the show and really enjoys it. I asked her what she likes best about the show, of course expecting her to say me. But she didn’t say me, Ick, Scallops, or Stephen. He favorite part of the show is Marge’s “Dancing with the Stars” reports for crying out loud!

Also good morning to Mary and Roger Church who both like the show. I met them Saturday morning at the grand opening of Newcastle Flooring in Auburn. As part of the festivities Newcastle sponsored a custom and classic car show in the parking lot. Lots of very cool cars. But Mary & Roger were showing the coolest thing in the lot… and it only had two wheels. It was a tow behind custom camper called a “teardrop.” Mary and Roger love camping, both were into scouting, and raised their kids (I think one became an Eagle Scout) to love the outdoors. But around 2004 Mary decided she was sick of sleeping on the ground and wanted to camp in something with a mattress. So Roger found some old Popular Mechanics blueprints online on how to make a camper and built one! It took him five years to get it done (and if you ask Mary, he’s STILL working on it!). There’s this whole group of people who are into these cool looking trailers and they call themselves Teardroppers. And best of all, Mary now has a queen size mattress to sleep on under the stars.

Ananda & Tessie were at a birthday party Sunday for one of the toddlers whose mom is in my wife’s ‘momtourage.’ Sierra is only 2, but her mom just bought a bunch of clothes for a four year old toddler. She got them all because they were on clearance. You’d think she would just put them in the closet until Sierra was big enough to wear them. But oh no, not the momtourage… they are all into taking care of one another. So Sierra’s mom gave the clothes to Ananda for Tessie to wear… then in a year or so when Tessie outgrows them, they’ll be perfect for Sierra and Ananda will pass them back. Pretty cool way to help each other save money.

The leader of the Taliban said Saturday that Americans would know how hopeless it is to try to conquer Afghanistan if they would only study Afghan history. Yeah, like that’s gonna happen. We don’t even study American history….

A man who once claimed to have fathered the child of John Edwards' mistress says in a book proposal the former presidential candidate is the real father. I know it's hard to believe, brace yourself… but I think this means another politician has lied.

Let me ask you a question America. Who wants to stop playing video games long enough to pick up their cell phone? Or worse -- what if you have to get up from your gaming chair? Well, folks, no longer are we reduced to such barbaric situations! At least, not if you own a PlayStation 3. Until September 27th, PS3 owners will be able to order Papa John’s pizza without having to do anything complicated, like move. It’s like we’re living in the future! Who knew the future was so lazy…

There’s this bridge in China that’s famous, kinda like the Golden Gate, for people jumping off of it. So how do you discourage people from suicide attempts? Maybe put counselors on it? Close it down? Nope. Authorities in one Chinese province have resorted to coating a bridge in butter in order to hinder suicide attempts and the traffic jams they cause. The result of coating the 1,000-foot-long bridge with butter is a surface too slippery for even the most desperate person to climb.