11.30.09 Mon "Post-Op Blogging"

Sorry for the delay putting up a new post. As most of you know, I had some surgery recently. That coupled with the Thanksgiving holiday made me a rather lazy blogger. Please forgive me. Now, onto the foolishness...

Found a great way to free up some space in the kitchen when you have lots of dishes that need to go into the oven all at one time; toss your bird on the barbie! This year we cooked a 20 pound turkey outside on the deck in the grill. It was amazing! Juicy, golden, and filled with that smoky grilled flavor. We’ll never make our Thanksgiving bird in the oven again. Now, if I can just figure out how to make that weird mushroom green bean side dish over open flame as well….

You know sometimes you can handle two things separately, but when faced with both of them at the same time it becomes unbearable? Like when my wife went into labor with Tessie, she said she could either handle the pain or the nausea, but pain AND nausea was too much and she had to get an epidural. I had a similar situation this past week. I had the pain of hernia surgery. And my in-laws were visiting. AT THE SAME TIME! It was too much for one man. And to make it even worse, my mother in law is a nurse and my father in law is a doctor. So I couldn’t pull anything over on them and milk the pain, they had my number. “Oh yeah,” Doctor Dan told me. “My 89 year old patient, Herbert Mumphry had that exact same surgery last week. He was climbing Mount Everest the very next weekend… you’ll be fine….”

We doubled our lighting display this year on our house. It would make Clark Grizwald proud. But of course that means in order to make up for the money we’re going to be wasting on our lighting display, we’re going to have to cut costs elsewhere. So, I think I’m going to turn off the heat in the house except for about three hours each day. I think I’m going to hold a Scott family sweater drive.

The in-laws are gone and the kids are back in school. Forget last Thursday. TODAY is the day to give thanks.

Due to Christmas shopping Walmart has updated its security measures. If they work, then they’ll try them at the White House.

Forget the sexy hourglass figure -- large breasts, tiny waist and curvy hips -- that so many men desire and pop culture worships. The ideal female figure is one with a tubby waistline that is more of a cylinder shape. Women who have an imperfect body with a bigger waist than they may like could actually find this excess body fat is the key to their economic success, reports LiveScience.com. Anthropologist Elizabeth Cashdan of the University of Utah says the same hormones that tend to redistribute fat from the hips to the waist also make women physically stronger, more competitive and better able to deal with stress.

Hey guys, want to make more money? Then take a lesson from billionaire Ted Turner and grow a mustache. But just don't count on keeping the extra moolah. A new study reveals that your school career counselors were all wrong when they told you to show up for job interviews with a good, clean shave. Men who sport mustaches are not only more likely to get hired at job interviews but they're also more likely to command bigger paychecks, says the study performed by Quicken and the American Mustache Institute. Mustachioed men make 4.3 percent more than clean shaven guys and 8.2 percent more than bearded gents, say pollsters. But then there's the matter of keeping the extra cash the survey shows men with mustaches spend 11 percent more and save 3 percent less than the combined average of bearded and clean shaven fellows.

What gets you in the Christmas Spirit? We put up our lights and got a tree the day after Thanksgiving. That was a good start… but I’ll really get in the Christmas Spirit tonight after watching “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” on TV. This is the classic 1966 version, not that Jim Carey piece of junk made a couple of years ago….

11.19.09 Thurs. "Leggo my Eggo... or I'll KILL you!"

Can’t eat anything or drink anything after midnight tonight. I’m already thirsty and hungry. I’m going to eat an entire pizza and a jug of soda at 11:59 PM, just to make sure I don’t die of thirst and hunger on the operating table Friday.

A new report says a Barbie toy has been found with high levels of lead. But, honestly, if your kid is licking their Barbie dolls, you’ve got a much bigger problem.

A company in London is offering translation services to parents, especially celebrities, so that they don’t accidentally give their baby a cute-sounding name that actually has less pleasant meanings in other languages. Perhaps that would have changed things for Gwyneth Paltrow’s youngest child, Guano.

Police say the New Jersey man they arrested after his vehicle hit a cyclist lost control of his vehicle because he was texting a drug deal. Did you ever just have one of those days?

Eggo waffles are disappearing from store shelves. That’s because a summer flood at Kellogg’s Atlanta factory and equipment problems at a Rossville, Tennessee, plant have hampered production of the popular Eggo. And the shortage may last a while. Kellogg says in a statement on its website: "Eggo is working around the clock to bring everyone's favorite waffles back to store shelves as quickly as possible. We hope to regain full distribution of Eggo products by the middle of 2010." Dark days are coming for at-home American breakfasts, mark my words….

A judge in Boston has ruled that airport officials violated the rights of a Rastafarian baggage handler at Logan Airport, Josue Brissot, when they hired him with dreadlocks, and then tried to fire him for not cutting them off. See---this is a case of the airport officials not being very smart. If you really want to fire this Rastafarian---don't tell him to cut his dreadlocks...Ask him for a urine test!

11.18.09 Wed. "Oh Christmas Tree... wait is that a squirrel?!"

My all-natural, hippie, Mother Earth-loving wife thinks it would be cool if this year we went out into the woods and cut our own Christmas Tree this year. Granted, that sounds very “Norman Rockwell” and everything, but I have many concerns. First of all, I’m worried I may end up on somebody’s property and they will pop off some rounds from a shotgun at us. Secondly, there’s all the hard work and I am going to be already healing from a hernia operation. At the tree lots they cut the bottom off of the tree and tie it to the top of your car. Last time I checked, a woodland chipmunk won’t do the same for you. Oh, and speaking of wildlife, you know we’d get it home and prop up the tree only to find that a family of squirrels was living in it. No, I’m thinking it makes more sense to make the trek down to our local Safeway parking lot for a Christmas Tree just like our forefathers did.

Speaking of the holidays, the temptation of all of those Pumpkin Spice, Eggnog, and Cherry Mocha season treats at the coffee shops are starting to get to me. But I found a way to resist. I bought some calorie-free seasonal coffee. It’s just regular ground coffee you brew at home, but it has a hint of naughty-flavor, like Gingerbread Spice, without any of the calories of a latte. Millstone makes some pretty good coffees. By the way, did you know Millstone started in Everett?! What is it with this place and producing coffee companies? With this intense desire for hot caffeine, you’d think it was cold, grey, and depressing in the Northwest or something….

The Supreme Court won't hear an appeal from a group of Native Americans who think the name of the NFL's Washington Redskins football team is offensive. But the Court is thinking about hearing an appeal from a group of actual birds of prey who are generally offended by the way the Seahawks play.

Many of the nation's mall Santas want to be given priority for the H1N1 vaccine. Swine flu has become such a concern that the Amalgamated Order of Real Bearded Santas featured a seminar on the illness at a recent conference in Philadelphia. The group also urged its members to use hand sanitizer and take vitamins to boost their immune systems. The president of the organization said he also hopes parents will keep sick kids away. Forget the cookies and milk! Santa wants some swine flu vaccine!

The new "Twilight" movie will be out soon. Which parents, explains the sudden emergence of teenagers from their bedrooms.

Not surprising study of the day: Almost a quarter of U.S. employers say morale among workers at their companies is low, according to a survey released this week. Two out of five had trouble staying motivated at work in the last year and a quarter do not feel loyal to their employer. Asked what could be contributing to low morale, two in five workers said stress levels were high, and about half said their workload has increased in the last six months.

Police in Seattle said an intoxicated man overestimated his own ninja skills and impaled himself on a fence post. An officer heard screams at about 11:15 Monday night and found the man impaled on a spike atop a 5-foot-tall fence. Fire Department responders freed the man from the spike and he was taken to a hospital. The man later told police he thought he was a ninja and would be able to successfully leap over the fence. “Ah grasshopper… you must learn to not drink like fish if you want to leap like gazelle.”

11.17.09 Tues "Bullwinkle, that trick NEVER works..."

Environmental groups are suing the Federal Government to return the flying squirrel to the endangered species list. It was removed from the list when during the last count its numbers grew from just 10 flying squirrels to 12-hundred since 1985. But even though the numbers are growing, the environmentalists say that they are concerned that the flying squirrels’ habitat is now in danger… from Boris and Natasha.

The government of Uganda says that the bodies of those who die from drinking illegal booze in that country should be caned six times before burial to serve as an example to the living. Over 50 people have died in the last two months from drinking illegally produced hooch, and the beatings of the dead they say will help warn against bad behavior. I mean, I’ve heard of beating a dead horse, but this is taking things a little far don’t you thing….?

Seems nobody is free from worrying about H1N1, not even the Magic Kingdom. In an effort to halt the spread of swine flu, Walt Disney World has installed dozens of hand sanitizer dispensers throughout the theme park. “Kids, remember to wash your hands after touching Goofy. And don’t even THINK about going to visit the three little pigs….”

Researchers say that chemicals in plastics alter the brains of baby boys making them "more feminine". It could be plastics, or it could be "Sing-Me-A-Show-Tune Elmo,” researchers aren’t actually sure…

A team of experts is trying to drill through Antarctic ice to retrieve 100-year-old lost crates of whiskey. The expedition is made possible through a generous grant from the Lindsey Lohan Foundation.
(Here’s the real story: The head of a New Zealand expedition said his team is attempting to retrieve whiskey that explorer Ernest Shackleton took with him on his South Pole expedition. The team claims crates containing the whiskey were abandoned by the British explorer during his failed 1909 journey and are currently frozen in ice in Antarctica. The expedition team will use special drills to gain access to the trapped crates and hopefully procure a bottle of the McKinlay and Co. whiskey. Whyte & Mackay, the company that owned the now-defunct McKinlay and Co., has asked for a sample of the whiskey so it could attempt to replicate it.)

11.16.09 Mon "Yes, I'll take a latte, a scone, and some BC Bud please..."

After seeing the movie “2012” there are two places I do not want to be during the end of the world: Hawaii or Yellowstone National Park. They are both essentially massive super-volcanoes. Not standing over a huge explosion of hot magma gives you at least a fighting chance. My only problem with the movie was that it didn’t destroy Seattle.

You know that California has those medical marijuana “clinics” all over the place. Well, get ready for something new. The United States' first “marijuana café” is now open in Oregon. The Cannabis Cafe in Portland, Oregon, is the first to give certified medical marijuana users a place to get hold of the drug and smoke it -- as long as they are out of public view -- despite a federal ban. The cafe is technically a private club, but is open to any Oregon residents who are members and hold an official medical marijuana card. Members pay $25 per month to use the 100-person capacity cafe. They don't buy marijuana, but get it free over the counter from "budtenders". You know somebody in Fremont is getting this news today and is really mad they got beat to the punch.
(On a side note, two guys from Mountlake Terrace are planning to sue the city because they were told they can’t open a Marijuana store there. Todd Madison and Aaron Panagos applied for a business license in September to open the “Botanical Urban Dispensary Service.” Mountlake Terrace said “uh… no.”)

Webster's New World College Dictionary has named 'distracted driving' as its word of the year. Runner up was 'wallet biopsy' (an examination, before medical service is provided of a patient's ability to pay enabling the health care provider to decide whether free or discounted medical care is appropriate). Other runner ups: 'stimulus' and 'Too Big To Fail'.

Men who hold traditional attitudes about the role of women in society have a distinct advantage at work: They make more money. A lot more money. That's the conclusion of a University of Florida study that showed men who believe the genders are equal make less money, while sexist men make more. The pay differences are substantial. The Washington Post reports that men who hold more traditional attitudes about women in society earned $11,930 more a year than men with more egalitarian views and $14,404 more than women with traditional attitudes. (That’s fine and all, but if it’s true, how come I’m not loaded?!)

Robert Lipson may well be one of the most loyal college football fans in the land. He has attended every home game of the Kansas State University Wildcats since 1972, and every road game in the team's conference since 1973. He has all 142 ticket stubs in exact order in a safe-deposit box, including the stub from Saturday's Kansas State-University of Missouri Tigers game. The record for perfect game attendance is held by Giles Pellerin. He went to 797 consecutive USC Trojan games from 1926 until he died in the parking lot of a game in 1998 at age 91.
Ran across this and thought it was pretty interesting especially since I read that most people don’t have their resume ready until AFTER they find themselves unemployed.

Five Ways to Say 'I'm Unprofessional'
By Peter Vogt, Monster Senior Contributing Writer

In most job-filling situations, the employer has the luxury of choosing from several well-qualified applicants, all of whom could probably do the job. That's when the little things, like the common but often unrecognized mistakes described here, almost always come into play. Make sure you avoid them, so they don't cost you a shot at the job.

1. Using a Cutesy Email Address for Correspondence
Example: cutiepie@domain.com, or -- far worse -- something like sexkitten@domain.com.
You Might Think: It's a clever, memorable email address everyone will get a kick out of.
The Employer Will Probably Think: I can't believe someone would actually list this email address on her resume, let alone use it to correspond with me. Will she do the same thing on the job if I hire her? Yikes!

2. Putting a Silly Message on Your Answering Machine
Example: A is for academics, B is for beer -- and one of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message, OK?
You Might Think: Mine is the funniest answering machine message this side of the Mississippi. My friends will love it.
The Employer Will Probably Think: Good lord, this person probably lives in Animal House. And I just can't risk interviewing, let alone hiring, someone like Bluto or Flounder. Sorry, Charlie. Click.

3. Sending Your Resume and Cover Letter Without Proofreading
You Might Think: Everybody makes mistakes, even employers. So if there's a mistake or two on my resume, no big deal. The employer probably won't even notice, much less care.
The Employer Will Probably Think: Everybody makes mistakes, even employers. But making more than one minor mistake on a resume or in a cover letter is unacceptable, and often, even one is too many. How do I know this person will proofread the letters he writes to shareholders? What if he someday leaves a zero or two off one of our financial statements? I better put this resume aside and look for someone who's more accurate and thorough.

4. Winging Your Interviews Instead of Preparing Thoroughly
You Might Think: I'm good at thinking on my feet, and if I get stuck, I'll just BS my way through. Besides, they can't expect me to know everything about the company.
The Employer Will Probably Think: This person clearly knows nothing about the company, nor has she made any effort to learn more about us and what we do. She must not really care whether or not she gets the job. I want someone who cares. Oh well, maybe the next person will be better.

5. Failing to Send Thank-You Notes After Interviews
You Might Think: A thank-you note? You're kidding, right? Do people even do that sort of thing anymore?
The Employer Will Probably Think: This person has no follow-up skills, not to mention common courtesy. He could have at least dropped me a quick email note, like this other person did. I think I'll invite this candidate for the second round of interviews instead. The other guy must not really want the position.

11.12.09 Thurs. "Hey baby, let's play Putt-Putt."

NBC plans to spread a pro-environmental message across five of its prime-time shows. Also, in order to save electricity, NBC is also recommending that viewers imagine next week's episodes.

The Vatican has called in experts to study the possibility of extraterrestrial alien life. “E.T…. phone…. Rome.”

This is just really weird. A 21-year-old University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee student said he was walking home from work about 1:15 a.m. when he was pulled into an alley and told to lay face down while someone put a gun to his neck. Four men took his wallet, keys and his cell phone. But then something very strange happened. One of the muggers noticed the victim had an Army ID in the wallet and that he was an Army reservist. So that guy, presumably the group's leader, told the others to return the items and they put most of his belongings on the ground next to him. The victim told police, "The guy continued to say throughout the situation that he respects what I do and at one point he actually thanked me and he actually apologized." The group then started walking away but per the victim, "The leader of the group actually walked back and gave me a quick fist bump, which was very strange." The reservist asked not to be identified because the robbers still had his keys. Police then got a report of a similar crime ten minutes later by what sounded like the same foursome of muggers. This time their victim was a 47-year-old formerly convicted burglar who had a Department of Corrections inmate ID in his wallet. They kept that wallet apparently unfazed by that ID. We have patriotic muggers now? Weird…

Schools are having a harder and harder time raising money. So why not sell grades? Rosewood Middle School in North Carolina says that a $20 donation would get a student 20 test points - 10 extra points on two tests of the student's choosing. That could raise a B to an A, or a failing grade to a D. Do you agree with the new fundraising idea? Would you pay $20 to help your kid's grade? (If you are a parent and say no, I believe you’re lying to yourself.)

The civilian police officer whose quick action stopped the shooting spree at Fort Hood tells Oprah Winfrey that the scene that day was "very confusing and chaotic." Sgt. Kimberly Munley, the civilian police officer credited with bringing down the gunman during the Fort Hood shooting spree, said her training took over. "In that particular incident, we didn't have much time to think." She says one of the shots that hit her " felt like a muscle being torn out of my leg," but adds, "I'm doing well." "Every day is a progress for me, and things are getting better day by day," Munley says. "And emotionally, I'm just hoping that the rest of the officers and the injured and the families of the deceased are healing as well."

A Japanese lingerie maker said its latest bra caters to women seeking to golf on the go with the capability to unroll into a 5-foot-long putting mat. The Nice Cup in a Bra can be removed and unrolled into a putting mat that says "Nice shot" through a speaker when a ball sinks into the cup. The bra, which contains pockets for extra golf balls and tees, comes with a skirt bearing the words "Be Quiet" on the rear. The company (Triumph) releases novelty bras in Japan twice a year to highlight social trends. Previous releases include a chopstick bra and a mail carrier bra with pockets for letters.

11.11.09 Wed. "Oui"

This is some cool news just in time for Veterans’ Day. The company that makes the very popular video game “Call of Duty” has started a foundation to help veterans find employment. This is the same company that makes “Guitar Hero” and they’ve primed the pump with a million bucks to get the Call of Duty Endowment going that will help vets with their careers after they’ve served. So kids when your mom yells at you for playing too many video games tell them you’re just trying to honor our veterans. Yeah, good luck with that…

A lot of the French speaking citizens of Quebec say they’re starting to feel like an “under-appreciated minority” there since so many people in the Canadian city speak English. In response to their feelings, the Canadian government has ordered their airmen assigned to the area to learn French. The only problem, and this is the salt in the wound, the contract to teach the airmen was awarded to a teaching company from the US. Those poor canuck Frenchies just can’t catch a break, can they….

Low-carb diets can make you leaner, but you’ll be a grumpy skinny person. Researchers say that after much study they have discovered that high protein and high carb diets both work equally well when it comes to losing weight. But the study also found that while dieting, those who are on the high protein, low-carb diets are in “considerably worse moods.” People who are still eating carbs like breads, pasta, and the occasional muffin were in better moods than those who were passing on the pancakes and having brisket wrapped in bacon for breakfast.

Speaking of dieting, you knew that Ding Dongs, candy bars, and hunks of bacon weren’t good for you. But now there’s a study out that says that junk food may be just as addictive as heroin or cocaine. Researchers gave rats unlimited access to high fat, high calorie food. The rats became compulsive overeaters as the pleasure pathways to their brains became less responsive, forcing them to consume more to get the same amount of pleasure. The rats even went for the junk food when they had to endure an electrical shock in order to get it. Here’s what was really weird… when the rats were taken off the junk food and were given a nutritious pellet, they refused to eat even though they were clearly starving. The same thing works with us. We put down the Twinkies and Beer and when we’re handed a hunk of tofu, who wouldn’t rather just starve?

North and South Korea navies actually exchanged gunfire the other day. The winner takes on the Somali pirates in the final.

New research shows that the photos people post on Facebook could paint an accurate picture of their personality. A personality that you'll never actually experience in person since they're busy on Facebook all the time.

11.10.09 Tues. "Abnormal Hernia"

Went and saw a surgeon yesterday to see what to do with my hernia. After examining me, the doc told me that I needed to go to First Hill and get an ultrasound. (“What,” I asked him. “Am I pregnant?”) He said that an ultrasound would give him a better idea of what kind of hernia I had and where it was specifically for surgery. Headed up to the other clinic and it was like walking into a germ warfare battle zone. At every entrance they had guards stationed checking people for flu-like symptoms. If you didn’t have any, you got a little yellow sticker you had to wear at all times. If you did have symptoms, you had to wear a mask and did NOT get a little yellow sticker. Man, when you were walking down the halls if you saw somebody without a little yellow sticker it was like being in ancient times when you encountered a leper. The only thing missing was them wailing and tearing their clothes while shouting “unclean! Unclean!”

Ananda’s mother, Beth, arrived yesterday from Michigan and will be staying with us through Thanksgiving. Obviously Tessie loves her being here because nobody spoils a toddler like a nana. But you know who really loves when Nana Beth comes to town? Fenway. With somebody watching Tessie, it means between Ananda and me, the dog gets at least two fast walks unhindered by slow toddler or awkward stroller accompaniment.

Random fact of the day: 58% of women surveyed say blue jeans and a t-shirt is the sexiest clothing men can wear. What else is hot? A clean-shaven face is preferred by 42 percent, while 31 percent like it to be a little rough on the chin.

A new study finds that people who live near volcanoes have a higher rate of thyroid cancer. Somehow if I lived that close to an active volcano, thyroid cancer wouldn’t be my primary concern.

Today is 11.10.09. Which means at 8:07 AM and six seconds it'll be 11 - 10 - 09 - 08 -07 - 06. It means absolutely nothing, but it’s kinda cool.

The Kansas City Chiefs released talented but controversial running back Larry Johnson. Johnson had recently angered gay groups by using a gay slur. I have no idea which team he’ll play for now but I doubt it’ll be with the 49’ers…..

Saw one of those atheist bus billboards yesterday. The one with a picture of Santa Claus on it that says “Yes Virginia. There is no God.” But that’s not the only God / Buss controversy these days. An Atlanta bus driver was suspended for insisting his passengers join him in a prayer. A Metropolitan Atlanta Rapid Transit Authority spokesman said LeRoy Matthews received a five-day furlough after passengers said he stopped his bus and asked all riders to hold hands and take part in a moment of prayer. An unidentified passenger said he was trying to get off the bus last Tuesday when Matthews made his prayer request. The impromptu prayer session on the public bus lasted at least 4 minutes. Doesn’t matter if I was a believer or not, if the dude behind the wheel of the beast that was taking me somewhere asked me to join him in prayer, I’m joining him in prayer!

Police in Palm Bay, Florida say that a graffiti “artist” (vandal) who ran out of paint midway through one of his creations left a hand written paper note to explain to potential critics why his “work” was unfinished. He wrote “ran out of purple” and signed it “Solo,” which is the street handle of some guy named Dan Fisher. Which, made it easy for cops to figure out who vandalized the property and they can now charge him with criminal mischief. There’s a message in this kids. You can’t worry about critics… (It could lead to prison.)

The U.S. Marine Corps Day was established way back in 1775, to augment naval forces in the Revolutionary War. The recruiting headquarters was set up by Captain Samuel Nicholas in the Tun Tavern on Water Street in Philadelphia, which is considered to be the birthplace of the Marines. After success in many campaigns, the Corps was abolished at the close of the Revolutionary War for reasons of economy. On July 11, 1798, Congress ordered the creation of the Corps, named it the United States Marine Corps and directed that it be available for service under the Secretary of the Navy. Here are some famous U.S. Marines:

Colonel John Glenn: U.S. Senator (D-OH) for four terms starting in 1974; He became the oldest person to travel into space in 1998.

Ed McMahon: Flew more than 80 missions as a Marine fighter pilot in World War II and Korea before sitting on Carson's couch.

Corporal Gene Hackman: served six years from 1946-1952 in China, Japan and Hawaii; 2-time Oscar-winning actor for his roles in "The French Connection" and "Unforgiven."

Harvey Keitel: served in Lebanon; Reservoir Dogs, and Pulp Fiction.

Drew Carey: served in the USMCR from 1981-1986; actor and comedian, "The Drew Carey Show" and "Who's Line is it Anyway?"

11.04.09 Wed. "I give up."

You know the best thing about having visitors? It reminds you of how amazing the place you live in is. While Shareena was here we did the Ride the Ducks. In all of the years I’ve lived here, I’d never ridden the ducks. It was a blast! The view of the city from Lake Union is pretty dang amazing. The only downside is that I now want a boat and to live in one of those floating houses.

I had an observation about why it’s better to believe in God than not. Especially if you have kids. Over the weekend Tessie asked me “Daddy, why are you a Daddy and not a Mommy?” Rather than launch into a complex discussion on gender and biology I simply told her “well, that’s the way God made me.” She said “oh” and we moved on with what we were doing. What do atheists do? Whip out the medical journals and explain human plumbing and evolution to a toddler?

I decided not to vote. As a conservative in Western Washington, voting just depresses me. It’s like cheering for a losing team. So rather than suffer with post-election depression because nothing I vote for nor anybody I vote for ever win, I’ve opted to just go on with my life and ignore the whole nonsense all together. If I lived in a state where I could win occasionally I would start voting again, but because of the left leaning tendencies of Seattle and Western Washington, I’ve decided to from no on be a non-voter. Voting conservative here is like cheering for the Mariners to win the World Series. Sure they’re your team, sure you like the players, but eventually you have to face reality that they are never going to win…

A Florida man got away with a ferret from a pet store by hiding it in his pants. Hearing about this crime, as a protective, preemptive measure as one of his final tasks as Seattle mayor, Greg Nickles has decided that it only makes sense to ban pants in pet stores.

A story this week in the New York Times ends with an admission by a food magazine editor that those too-perfect-to-be-true turkeys you see in magazines are, in fact, too perfect to be true. "I know it seems like, hey, what could be simpler than roasting a bird? But the perfect roast bird is a challenge. Turkey, as a model, is very much like a fashion magazine with fashion models. There are plump turkeys, and, I'm not kidding you, there's skinny turkeys, there are chesty turkeys, breasty turkeys, there are flat-chested turkeys." Then the food magazine editor says, referring to a turkey photoshoot: "I was like, 'I just need the breast to get a little bit higher.'" She admitted, "We have enhanced the breasts of turkeys."

When I dropped my niece off at the airport yesterday I happened to walk past the Virgin Airlines check in. The other check ins at the other airlines look ghetto compared to the Virgin one! It’s all fancy and high class looking.
Speaking of Virgin, they don’t stop with just fancy looks. People scared of flying can now press a button on their iPhone to help them deal with their panic. Virgin Atlantic Airways has launched an app for its Flying Without Fear course which boasts a success rate of over 98 percent. The airline said the app was designed to help people overcome fear, be it of the unfamiliar aircraft, the strange noises a plane makes, or of losing control. The airline developed the app with Mental Workout, a company developing software to help people resolve issues and increase mental performance. The Flying Without Fear app has an introduction by Virgin president Richard Branson, a video-based in-flight explanation of a flight, frequently asked questions, relaxation exercises and a fear attack button for emergencies with breathing exercises.

Well there are two less terrorists in the world thanks to a bear in South Kashmir in India. A bear has mauled two Hizbul Mujahideen militants to death as they hid in its cave. Officials who were hunting the terrorists say it was a really stupid decision for them to try and move in to the cave. An Army patrol party found the mauled bodies. The two were identified as Kaisar Ahmad and Saifullah, both residents of Kashmir, and the patrol party also found two AK47 rifles and some ammunition in the cave. Do we promote that bear or just give him some kibble for a job well done?